Tuesday, August 07, 2007

Oneness in Marriage

Sherrie planned an excellent Family Home Evening last night. She focused it on the scripture in Doctrine and Covenants 29 that says
47 Wherefore, they cannot sin, for power is not given unto Satan to tempt little children, until they begin to become accountable before me;

48 For it is given unto them even as I will, according to mine own pleasure, that great things may be required at the hand of their fathers.

The part she emphasized is the second verse, "great things may be required at the hand of their fathers." Because little children cannot be tempted (until they're accountable) Satan is going to aim his efforts at the parents. It is so important that parents with children, under the age of 8 particularly, try extra hard to avoid temptation and to teach their children the gospel.

We went through the Family Home Evening lesson manual in the sections on Oneness in Marriage and Avoiding Conflicts in Marriage. As we went through these sections I remembered a bit of counsel Bro. Millet gives in his book Men of Valor. He said that he only has two pieces of advice to offer married couples (both newly-weds and oldly-weds)

  1. Choose to not take offense
  2. Always assume the best

These options exhibit humility and faith in your companion. These traits will allow you to have the Spirit with you and the guidance you need to improve your marriage in order to teach your children righteous principles. It's definitely not easy, but it is true.

We talked a little about what happens when both husband and wife have differing opinions regarding certain aspects of the gospel (e.g., Sunday activities, entertainment choices, etc.). We both had experiences in the mission field where we had companions who weren't willing to obey mission rules 100%. In those types of situations you can either choose to be the righteous one and condemn your companion or you can choose to achieve that oneness. Sometimes achieving oneness requires us to not be 100% obedient. This is a very sensitive topic (I'd like your feedback), you shouldn't compromise your values so that you do something you know is wrong (R-rated movies, shopping on Sunday, gambling, etc.). An example from my mission: my companion like to listen to Andrea Bocelli and other similar artists while we were at home. I didn't think it was appropriate and I chose to tell him, and so he put on headphones (something that shouldn't be done, but it was the other option). I think I would have been fine listening to the music he had, it was inspirational and it wouldn't have compromised our teaching ability, whereas what I had done could have created a riff in our oneness.

I guess it's such a sensitive issue it should be taken up with you and the Lord. If you feel something isn't right in your marriage, pray for guidance to achieve that oneness so that you can fully teach your little ones the gospel, so that the Lord work "great things" through you.

For a continued discussion go to Sherrie's blog.


Aimee said...

I guess it just comes down to which commandment is more important- following Christ perfectly, or becoming one flesh with your spouse.

Officer Leeroy said...

Kind of like what happened in the garden of Eden. Adam fell that men might be; he followed Eve out of the garden to keep their oneness, and allow them to keep the greater commandments of God.

janet said...

Someone once said you have to choose your battles. Not that marriage is a battlefield, but instances do come up where niether of you are agreed on a subject. Humility is definitely a major key and keeping all things within the Lord's bounds.

sherrie bebe said...

My comment got too large so I had to create my own post on the subject! Go to my blog to see what I think!